Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?

If you're a white man, you're free to walk.

Brock Turner Jokes More Brock Turner Jokes

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.