Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

Why was the lizard nervous in bed?

He had reptile dysfuncton

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

What do I have to do?

F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What birds are found in Portugal ?

Portu-geese !

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

John Jokes More John Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!"