Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

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Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?

sigh "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." bathrobe sags dejectedly

What kind of ants are very learned ?

Pedants !

Dance Jokes More Dance Jokes

Why was there dancing at the barbers'?

And: 'Coz they just got 'beered' O.o

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no-BODY to go with.

Twist Jokes More Twist Jokes

What's the easiest way to twist someone's arm?

Thalidomide

How many twists does a feminist need to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just grab it and the world to revolve around them.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.