Twist Jokes

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.

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How many twists does a feminist need to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just grab it and the world to revolve around them.

What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube?

The more you twist them the harder they get.

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Twist

What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

Wok it off! Wok it off!

What's the easiest way to twist someone's arm?

Thalidomide

What is a tornado ?

Mother nature doing the twist !

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

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How do you make a door cry?

You twist its knob. edit: grammar

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?

Because the top said "Twist to open."

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What's the difference between a doe and dope?

One's gotta pee.

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What sock do you put on last?

The one that's left.

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420F Glaze it Ok I'm leaving

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What kind of dance do buns do?

Abundance.

What kind of dance does your mother do?

The MOMbo.

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What is the similarity in between a dark joke and food?

Not everyone gets it

Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football?

Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P.

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What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream?

Sure, Bert!

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

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What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?

Cheez Waz.

What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo"