What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."

Why didn't the shy juggler perform at the circus today?

Because he didn't have the balls!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What are you guys yelling about?

them: YOU'RE DRIVING

How do you get an 80 year old woman to say f***?

Have another 80 year old woman yell "bingo!"

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one sick casket say to the other sick casket?

Is that you, coffin?

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.

What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable?

James Brady.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !