What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How'd you get the scratches?

flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch?

It's made from scratch

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

Wok it off! Wok it off!

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist?

A coffin.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.

What did Ronald Reagan say in his presidential campaign?

Electron. Also, what did the Greek warrior say when he saw the wooden horse Hydrogen please spare me

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"