Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

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Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

Thanksgive Dinner Jokes More Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What has 32 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?

A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?

Policeman: It was a moving violation.

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."