Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey"

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American?

Last Supper

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

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Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years?

Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving?

The Redskins

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?

Pecan, typically.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?

A: Turkey.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Kin Jokes More Kin Jokes

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What does a Pirate prefer to wear?

Doublet or nothing.

What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors?

Scissor me timbers!

Incredible Hulk Jokes More Incredible Hulk Jokes

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?

My Zipper

What has 42 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?

My Zipper.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Who do women produce milk for?

The baby and the dad.

Why is Simba an orphan?

A: Because his dad couldn't Mufasa 'nuff

Happy Thanksgiving Jokes More Happy Thanksgiving Jokes

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

Torque Jokes More Torque Jokes

What did the Mexican Physicist have for Thanksgiving Dinner?

Torque

What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

What is a mortician's favorite side dish?

Gravy