Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

What do thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

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Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey"

What did the hoodrats have for thanksgiving dinner?

Twerkey

What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner?

Unlimited twerky

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

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What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

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How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

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What keyboard layout does Miley Cyrus use?

TWERQY.

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Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds. :D

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What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

What is the longest rope in the world?

Europe

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Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

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How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan?

The Pirates always lose.

Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes?

because she lost the recipe.

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What is the Cuban national anthem?

Row Your Boat!

Why was the boat disobedient?

Nobody gave it a stern talking to.

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What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner?

Unlimited twerky