Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What Hillary's word for a bribe?

Pay her and she'll speak to you about it.

Why do boys walk fast and girls speak more?

Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's your favourite priest and a rabbi joke?

Been awhile since I've her some priest and a rabbi jokes. Hit me with your best one! Mine: a priest and a rabbi are waking down the street The priest asks " wanna screw some kids?" The rabbi replies "out if what?"

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."