Why do grandparents have so many clocks?

So they won't run out of time

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's faster than a black man running with a tv?

His cousin with the DVD player

What's the perfect name for a salon run by a couple of lesbian nuns?

Scissor Sisters *ba-dum-tiss*

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

Why did the clock phone the ruler?

Because desperate times call for desperate measures....

Why does the boss put clocks under employee's desk?

Because he wanted them to work over-time

Grandparent Jokes More Grandparent Jokes

What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?

You only get presents from one set of grandparents.

What do grandparents smell like?

Depends"