Why do stop lights turn red?

You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?

By opening the car door.

What do you do if the lights in a Chinese food restaurant are too bright?

Dim Sum.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

How do you stop a Polish battletank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb.

How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, anarchists can't change anything.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

What is Lil' John's favorite exercise?

Squats, squats, squats squats, squats squats, squats, squats, squats squats. Everybody!

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!