What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What type of perfume do kidnappers use?

chloroform

Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer?

Because they were using a Berner Phone.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you get when you give your kids participation trophies?

The electoral college in 2016.

What does that mean?

More kids tripping in lab coats

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop ISIS?

Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.

Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels?

They can't get enough booty.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it at you.

Why do people throw coins into foutains?

Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.

Weapon Jokes More Weapon Jokes

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

Cereal Jokes More Cereal Jokes

What's my favorite pirate workout and cereal?

Captain Crunch

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!