Why is your January report card so bad ?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas?

Very hungry.

What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas?

Presence

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?

X marks the pot, matey."

What was it worth?

Two marks.

January Jokes More January Jokes

Who's the wost president ever?

Guess we'll find out in January.

Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5?

Because he knows how to reduce fractions.