Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)

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Why did the Anti vaccinator leave the solar system?

Because he found mercury in it.

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."

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What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York?

Pigpockets.

How do you know if an introvert likes you?

He looks at your shoes instead of his

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What do you call a detective from Glasgow with three feet?

A Scotland Yard.

How does a detective stay cool in hot summer?

He works on a cold case.

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What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

What discovery was the garden's mathematician excited about?

AVOCADO'S NUMBER!