15 Minute Jokes

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What's the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic?

Catholics acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle. Extra: What's the difference between Catholics and Lutherans? Catholics just acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle, Lutherans have a 15 minute conversation about booze.

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How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

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Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's one thing you hated as a kid but love as an adult?

Molestation.

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

What's the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store.

Kitten Jokes More Kitten Jokes

Why did the Papal Palace fill up with kittens?

Because the Pope was a cat-holic. Eh Eh

What do you call a big pile of kittens?

A meowntain.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

Why is a dog like a baseball player?

He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?

Pack your trunk and clear out !"

How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?

Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesnt make it a leg.

Lutheran Jokes More Lutheran Jokes

How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)

How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb None, Lutherans don't change.