Comic Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

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Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

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Superhero Jokes More Superhero Jokes

What would you call a superhero with Down's Syndrome?

Ultra Downy

Why did the superhero make a lot of shredded cheese?

It was for the grater good.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother :D

Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?

He has cancer.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Mint Conditioner Jokes More Mint Conditioner Jokes

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the strippers and the circus?

The circus has a cunning array of stunts.

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

Comic Book Collector Jokes More Comic Book Collector Jokes

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

Dr. Jokes More Dr. Jokes

What do you call a Dr. that shares your medical history with everyone?

a HIPAAcrite

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

San Jokes More San Jokes

Why is Papyrus taller then Sans?

Because Papyrus drinks plenty of milk.

Why did Comic Sans's girlfriend leave him?

He just wasn't her type.