Specie Jokes

What species are the best rappers?

Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire.

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What do we do?

We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last.

What does the future hold?

Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even.

What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?

The shiitalkie mushroom.

Why are Sharks the only species that get their own week?

I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one.

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Leak Jokes More Leak Jokes

What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Who's there ! Cannelloni ! Cannelloni who ?

Cannelloni some money till next week

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.