Walter White Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

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What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke?

Nothing, because he is the one who knocks.

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Because HE is the one who knocks.

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

What did Walter White teach?

Advanced methematics.

What is Walter White's favourite band?

Well it's not Saving Jane, that's for sure.

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Theme Jokes More Theme Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

What do you call a techno-themed grocery store?

Gigi D'Agostino

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

How do you offend homeless people?

By telling them knock knock jokes!

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

Jessie Jokes More Jessie Jokes

Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie?

White privilege

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you pay for incense?

In cents

What do you call a stripper you pay with noodles?

A PASTATUTE!!!

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds?

He got the shakes instead.

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"