How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed?

So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do men dream of?

Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

What is the difference between a man and a woman?

Wo

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

How can you tell if a woman's picture is photoshopped?

She isn't standing in the kitchen

Real Life Jokes More Real Life Jokes

Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, "is that short for Jimberly?

and I have few friends in real life.

What next?

Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.

Soap Opera Jokes More Soap Opera Jokes

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.