How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

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How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

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What do you call a women with one leg?

ilene

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and a woman?

Inserting a rod into the reactor turns it off.

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Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye?

He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

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What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

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What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I dunno, i just click submit