How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

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How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

he raps his presents

What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?

You only get presents from one set of grandparents.

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What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

Cause Allies don't like axis powers

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How do cats buy things?

A: From a cat-alogue!

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

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How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

What is the most effective way to remember your wife's Birthday?

Answer: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again. :D