How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common?

Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside

Exorcise Jokes More Exorcise Jokes

How do Catholic church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why did the sasquatch go on a diet?

He didn't want to be Obeast.

Why are all these Juice fad diets so popular?

Because Juice control the media

Possess Jokes More Possess Jokes

What do you call a possessed chicken?

Poultrygeist.

Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit?

An exhorsist!