What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

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What happened to the guy who replaced his laxatives with Prozac?

He didn't give a sh...

Why aren't you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

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Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Why should you be sure to pay your exorcist on time?

You wouldn't want to get repossessed!

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What do you get if you play a C&amp?

W song backwards? Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.

What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed?

No whey...

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What did the priest say at the salad bar?

Lettuce pray.

Why did the priest cross the road ?

To screw in the children that were crossing the road

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How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

Possess Jokes More Possess Jokes

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.