Exorcise Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How do Catholic church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What do you call the ghost of a dessert-chef who returns no matter how many times they're exorcised?

A boo-meringue

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies?

One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

Young Ghost Jokes More Young Ghost Jokes

What do young ghosts write their homework in?

Exorcise books.

Why did the young ghost leave the party?

Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!

Possess Jokes More Possess Jokes

What do you call a possessed chicken?

Poultrygeist.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

Demon Jokes More Demon Jokes

What was the demon arrested for?

Possession.

Why did the demon get arrested?

Posession

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why was the gunman on a diet?

Because he was still at large.

Why did the sasquatch go on a diet?

He didn't want to be Obeast.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

What do you call the ghost of a dessert-chef who returns no matter how many times they're exorcised?

A boo-meringue

Homework Jokes More Homework Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?

Where you going essay!

What didn't you do?

My homework"

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?

Electricity.

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?"