How do you get people to quit smoking?

Cut off their lips

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

How did the muslim get cancer?

By smoking a lot of fags.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people say "Be there or be square"?

Because if you're not there, then you're not around.

What do you call a large group of people who spit on others?

The Salivation Army.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022141291023 pieces?

Guacomole.

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How can you tell that a politician lies?

His lips are moving

Why did the Hipster burn his lip?

He drank coffee before it was cool.