Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

Onions" was his dog... D:

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the leper colony ?

Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out.

Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why are they arresting that dog?

What did he do?!? (My 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car.)

What do you call a dog who digs for bones?

A Bark-aeologist

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man do when he got a big gas bill?

He exploded.

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half?

With a pair of Caesars!

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

D Jokes More D Jokes

Why does Edward Woodwood have four D's in his name?

Because otherwise his name would be E-war Woo-woo.

Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What what can you make from baked beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A: No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe.