How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it?

Unbereavable.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did two ferrets decide to meet?

They were trying to start a business.

When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?

The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ?

Scott !

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What is the appropriate response when your cat tells you a joke?

You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?

How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one but he'll tell everybody.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why are women like parachutes?

Because if they don't spread they are worthless.

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."