How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted?

I don't know I just fly the drone"

What is the cuddliest particle known to science?

The HUGS boson!

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner?

Cellfcentered

Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

Comcast Jokes More Comcast Jokes

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

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