Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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How do you get an r/jokes redditor confused?

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

Tb Jokes More Tb Jokes

What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

culosis.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Where did Putin tell the protesters where to meet?

Crimea River

What do Asians meeting up at their favorite Chinese take-out say?

Where my dogs at "

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?

Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry

Founder Jokes More Founder Jokes

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the 38th parallel?

Because North Korea's long range missiles can't reach that far

Why is North Korea disliked by South Korea?

It's because they are a Seoulless nation.