How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race?

WTF ) His thighs were burning too bad.

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test?

He didn't know enough about inequalities

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend?

Because Sheeran

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Stay"

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did Johnny jump off the Eiffel Tower?

He was suicidal.

Why aren't their Mexican Olympics?

Because all of the Mexicans that can run,jump,and swim are in America!

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Parsing HTML with regex.

What did the boy gun say to the girl gun?

Wanna bang

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Conclusion Jokes More Conclusion Jokes

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up?

They were just never on the same page...