How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup .

Why did the blonde go to church?

B/c she heard there was a guy hung like this(https://riverchurchtelford.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jesus.jpg)

Blind Jokes More Blind Jokes

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

How can you instantly blind an Asian person?

put a steering wheel in front of them

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

What do you call the spot on the ground just bellow the red keep?

King's Landing

Why was the blonde crawling on the ground in the shop?

She was trying to find the lowest prices

Leash Jokes More Leash Jokes

How do blind skydivers know when to pull the cord?

The leash goes slack

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

Slack Jokes More Slack Jokes

Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train?

Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)

How does a blind skydiver know when to pull the parachute?

When the leash goes slack.