Blind Jokes

How do you blind a Chinese man?

lay floss over their eyes

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Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares their dogs too much

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends?

Their i's don't work

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

How do you blind a woman?

You put a windshield in front of her.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

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What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?

Nice shades. (sorry)

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

How can you instantly blind an Asian person?

put a steering wheel in front of them

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

How do you blind an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

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Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

How did worchestershire sauce get it's name?

Someone gave some to a cajun and he said "whus dis here sauce"

Blind Person Jokes More Blind Person Jokes

How do you confuse a blind person?

Put them in a circular room and tell them to find the corner

What is a blind persons favourite song?

Hello darkness my old friend

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What if horses rode horses?

And then THOSE horses rode MORE horses Then it's like, whoa dude! Check out that big stack of horses!

How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?

Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He was trying to bust a move

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What's the difference between bullets and everyone ?

Everyone misses Harambe.

What do you call a deer missing an eye?

No-eye deer.

Blind People Jokes More Blind People Jokes

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I am not sure, I haven't seen them try and I can't do it either.

Why is it bad for blind people to skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where did the dog find her husband?

At the Groomers!

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?

A: Because you can't bury them in the sky!