What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, but it must be an odd number because, "they can't even."

What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What do quantum physicists do when life gives them lemons?

Everything

What is something that can breakdance on the floor only once on their life?

A fish

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why are notes natural leaders?

Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What do birds give out on Halloween?

A: Tweets.