What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears?

You're hired" "Not guilty"

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Whats the worst joke you can play on an American?

Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why can't you hear it when a pteranodon goes to the bathroom?

Because they're all dead.

How do you tell the difference from a guy's chromosome and a girl's chromosome?

You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.