What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction?

Please sir, I want some moors.

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife?

Only one shows an interest in the balls.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

What do you do if you're Fighting a group of circus performers?

Go for the juggler

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Why did Bill and Ted join Islam?

Because they heard it was radical!

Route Jokes More Route Jokes

Who are you routing for?

Mom: I'm routing for it to be over.

What's the fastest way to drive through Louisiana?

Drive the route with Les Miles! ... I'll see myself out.

Recalculate Jokes More Recalculate Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

What happens when two self-driving cars crash into each other?

RECALCULATING....*