What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What starts with "M" ends with "arriage" and recently made me the happiest man on earth?

Miscarriage

Why does the Earth love geologists?

They really get it's rocks off

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Want to hear a chimney joke?

Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?

Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

payday vs prayday.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.