What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why did the bat miss the bus?

Because he hung around for too long.

What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!"

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

What did the egg say when it got turned up?

Om-lit

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How did the Italian die?

Talking while driving.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?

A car thief who can't drive

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

Why have all the immigrants left?

They had no rights.

Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes More Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.