What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

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Who's driving?

Immigration.

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway?

Because he always took the low road.

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What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ?

A viper !

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Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

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What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?