Ireland Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

What is the stinkiest number in Ireland?

Farty.

Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

he thought he was going to Arrrland.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?

A virgin.

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

because the capital is always Dublin!

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

What side of the road do they drive on in ireland?

None. They're so drunk and violent no one is allowed to drive.

Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast?

because the population is always Dublin.

How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland?

By sending in millions of Muslims

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

You might also enjoy:

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

Christopher Columbus Jokes More Christopher Columbus Jokes

How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America?

By occident

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

Why did Jesus have to walk everywhere?

He drove a Ford.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

Leprechaun Jokes More Leprechaun Jokes

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time?

Not Yeti

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

How can you identify an Irish pirate?

A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

What do Irish feminists call men?

O'Pressors

Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

How do you spot a vegan at a party?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.