What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it?

Irrelevant.

Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?

He didn't want to be called chicken

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

What do you call a man with potatoes in their ears?

Anything you want, He can't hear you!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What did the first stop light say to the second stop light?

Don't look I'm changing

What do you call a second grader with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

What do you call bread so burnt it can never be ate?

Comatoast

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why don't more people cook Armenian food?

Because it can be very thyme-consuming.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

How many men does it take to fix a women's watch?

Why does she need a watch? There is a clock on the oven!

When do clocks die?

When their time is up.