What did the plant say to the vegan?

Leaf me alone.

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Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

What do vegan zombies crave?

GRRAAAAINS!!

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

Where did the promiscuous girl from Belgium go to plant her flowers?

ze Hoegaarden.

How do you get the water in a watermelon?

Plant it in the spring.

Leaf Jokes More Leaf Jokes

How does an elephant get down from a tree ?

He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.