What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family?

Awaken, my pump- "

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet?

I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."

What did the boulder say to the other boulder?

I rock. You Rock. We Rock. Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral?

Mourning Wood

What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

Pump Jokes More Pump Jokes

What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

How do you pump a Republican for information?

With a plunger.

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out...