What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail?

Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common?

A lot of likes

What do you call an aligator that likes to wear vests when no one else is around?

A private investigator.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How much do you bench?

Me: Way less than I couch.

How much do all the bones in the human body weigh?

A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?

He was always standing up on the job!

Why did Victoria lose her job?

We don't know, it's Victoria's secret.

Lean Jokes More Lean Jokes

Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something?

They're two-tired.

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human