What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

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How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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What do you use to make boot soup?

Birkenstock

How do you make a song better using cement?

By remixing it.

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What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?

A holy terror.

What do you call the ghost of a chicken?

A poultry-geist.

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What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...