What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

both can be solved with a coat hanger

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers?

You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks?

Your girlfriend!

How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?

None.

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Why can't atheists solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Coat Jokes More Coat Jokes

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?

A Nokia

What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common?

Both can be fixed with a coathanger.

Key Jokes More Key Jokes

What is long and likes to pry in a hole?

A key.

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.