What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

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Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of progress?

congress.

What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?

Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why was the man sued by his horse?

For palomino-money!

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show?

I wish I could hear you whinnie.

Society Jokes More Society Jokes

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn?

China probably can pop corn in one minute.

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What famous chiropodist ruled England ?

William the Corn-cutter!

What do the umpires rule it?

Fowl ball