What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Which one of the ten men won the pun contest?

No pun in ten did!

Why are men faster than women?

Ball bearings and stick shift.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What did the banana say to the apple?

Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot.

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What cheese is used to block online streaming?

Edam

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

Why were all the oompa loompas black in Willy Wonka &amp the Chocolate Factory?

Because Orange is the New Black.

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance?

A Fairodactyl