What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

How do you stop bad singing?

A pitchfork

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How about an app that keeps track of every working automatic paper towel dispenser in the world?

All seven or eight of them.

What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call a house that changes every month?

A Werehouse.

What's the difference between former House Speakers Hastert and Pelosi?

Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C.

How do you stop a mexican tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes?

A banana split!

What did the frustrated cannibal do?

Threw his hands up