A poodle split in half.
So he could hide in the cherry tree !
Because they always blow their trunks off!
He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.
Because they were mated.
He was forced to resort to excessive violins.
To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."
A dead poodle, split in half.