Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the clown cross the road?

A: To find his rubber chicken.

What musical instrument can be found in nearly every Bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Where do criminal spiders hang out?

The deep web

What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?

Nailed it

Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

A velocirapture

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

How do you do it w/ 4 kids?

Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

What's the mating call for a University of Alabama student?

I'm soo ddrrrruunnkk!"

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

John Jokes More John Jokes

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name!

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

What do you call a research facility in the middle east?

Darpa Darpa

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off?

A 15 yard penalty.

Who wants to hear a Star Wars Spoiler?

Darth Vader is Luke's dad.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

What other miracles can you do?

Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish ' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?

I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.