Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why do telescopes like the Moon so much?

Because they find him very down to earth.

Who will take the second shot in this pool game?

Find out after the break.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

How's it hanging?

I'm not sorry.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?

Because the C-section is always messy.

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do Jesus and germs have in common?

Nobody has ever seen them directly, but everyone says they exist.

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ?

4. Prophet.

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

What do you call the guy who manages my apartment building?

The thoooperintendent.

Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?

She hated being microbe-managed.

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

John Jokes More John Jokes

Which two regions have the most people named John?

SEA / NA

How bad is it?

John: "How bad is what "

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there's a Target on every corner

Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

How warm is the inside of a tauntaun?

Luke warm

What is the inner temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead cat has skid marks around it.

What happened when the black man went to night school?

The teacher marked him absent.

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

What does racist matthew mcconaughey say?

alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV